Christmas Stress Got You Down??

I love Christmas. Why is it that so many people are so cranky at this time of the year and dread the holidays? I read that more than 20% of Americans find the holidays more stressful than enjoyable. According to surveys, Christmas is right up there at the top of the list, after financial worries, of things that cause us stress. It's not difficult to understand stress that's caused by the loss of a job or a loved one, divorce or health issues. But stress just because it's Christmas?

The Christmas season is my favorite time of the year but over the years I've learned I need to set priorities in order to enjoy it more. Sometimes you have to or you'll go nuts. I wish I'd been able to do this years ago when my kids were young. Those were stressful Christmas years, trying to get everything in and create the perfect holiday for my kids. I've since learned that no, I sure can't get everything done. I can't always have everyone over, the cookies may be eaten before Christmas gets here, the gifts may not be perfect, the store may be out of that special item because I put my shopping off too long, the cards may be late and all of the decorations may not get up.

I'm no authority, but here's what I do to try to control it a little: I pick just a couple of things to do that make the season special. Not too many or you'll surely feel stressed. We used to get dressed up and go to see the Nutcracker every year (until the "boys" in my family started bowing out, pretending to be sick . . . ). Or we'd take the train downtown and stand in line forever to have lunch in front of the tree in the Walnut Room at the old Marshall Fields downtown. Nice, but crazy. Worth the stress?

Now that the kids are grown, I still try to find a Christmas concert or other event to go to to get into the spirit - just one at least and it doesn't have to be fancy. We went to a service at our church a few nights ago and sang carols for half an hour. It wasn't exactly the Nutcracker, but it felt really good. We also get together with friends at a restaurant around the holidays if neither feels like entertaining. I always get together with good friends to exchange gifts and if it happens after Christmas, so be it. We never miss, though.

Decorating can sometimes cause stress. Wouldn't it be nice to have the perfect Christmas house, decorated by Martha? No time, money or room for a tree? No excuse, get some poinsettias and place them around the house. Or put a wreath on the door - so you can see it every time you walk in. No energy to get out ALL the Christmas decorations? Pick just a few things and be done.

I still have 2 boxes of decorations I haven't touched, but I did put out a few of my favorite ornaments and Santas. No one helped me this year, everyone else in the family was too busy or stressed (or lazy perhaps??). I could have just let it go, too much work. But it REALLY makes me feel good to have the house decorated even just a little and I know my family appreciates it. So, last week, I put on some Christmas music and went at it. Even at 17 and 22, my kids got into the spirit really fast after that and I could see their faces light up the way they did when they were young. A little decorating helps a lot to bring some Christmas spirit into your home.

Christmas is supposed to be when you make time for others but try to make time for yourself as well. I like to go for a walk in the snow if the temperature permits. I get some exercise and the cold air clears my brain. When I do go out shopping I always get something for myself too, LOL. Nothing expensive, just a little something. Sometimes I stop everything and take a little tea or coffee/cookie break.

If you need to worry about finances (don't we all these days), stick to a budget - don't let the media make you feel like you're disappointing people if you don't get them the things that are on Oprah's Favorite Things list. Gifts don't always have to be perfect or expensive to bring a smile to someone's face. Or, give special, homemade gifts. The year I made Ingrid the pom-pom to replace the one that the dog chewed off her hat still makes us laugh.

I can hear my family and friends now - Oh no, more homemade gifts - Kathy's making us earrings again?? Why can't we just get a quilt?? Hint: it won't fit in the cute little box.

If you hate shopping, avoid the crowds if you can. I rarely shop on weekends - it gives me a headache. On weekdays, if I'm busy during the day or working, I make a quick supper (can you say frozen pizza or soup??) and then head out for a few hours in the evening before the stores close. No crowds and I can take more time to browse. Or, shop online - I did some of that this year. Many stores offer free shipping during the holidays.

Christmas dishes always perk me up.

I bring out our everyday holiday dishes and use them for a few weeks during the season. Every year I want to buy new ones but I'm still not tired of these Debbie Mumm plates I bought at Target years ago. They make me smile. Even if I'm just serving grilled cheese sandwiches . . . .

What else helps to get into the Christmas spirit and ease the stress? I was reminded of this one at church: Is there a relationship in your life that needs mending? Making the effort to resolve that with forgiveness and loving thoughts can sometimes go a long way toward easing the stress you feel inside.

Finally, I can usually get into the spirit by making time for music, reading an inspirational book, and watching my favorite Christmas movies. So slow down and don't let stress and irritability get the better of you - let's bring back Christmas as that "most wonderful time of the year."

                                                 Merry Christmas!